Bumble was only three swipes away from landing a profile biography with the sentence, “I am an open book, just inquire.”
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This may be the least surprising leed I’ve ever used in an article. You’re sure to have spent some time on. AppsMost likely, you have noticed that many bios share a similarity in their language. You’ll hear the same phrases over and over: “Just say hi.” “Quotes way to much from The Office.” “Fluent with sarcasm.”
Inconsequential conspiracy theories are stored in a corner in my brain like the one can of French-cut green bean soup you never feel like eating. It’s here that I picture a global meeting online of daters, where the only way to joke about height-related questions was to write “[Height]Because apparently, that is what matters.”
A few weeks back, while having dinner with friends, I brought up the topic. One of my friends admitted that he had used the exact same phrase about height in his Tinder profile. It seemed like this was the first step towards solving a mystery. He replied that he was told by a friend to include it in his bio. When I asked him where his friend was, he said that a friend had told him. he’dThe friend heard it and was not sure. He thought there might be no point of origin. However, he believed that the entire thing was a convergence of evolution.
Sigh.
Google searches from years ago also failed to yield any first instances of this phrase.
Also, it is unlikely that there was a meeting, or I was not invited. The same language exists across all genders, and according to international colleagues, across the water bodies that used to be much more effective in preventing the spread of new trends.
Granted, Dating app profiles can be hard to write. Your personality is being distilled into just a few hundred words. You are trying to create a sense of economy by looking at details that reveal something deeper about you.
After chatting up co-workers, friends, and strangers online, I am here to share The Love Syncs Guide Online Dating’s Most Anoying Phrases.
Fluent in sarcasm
It’s possible that “sarcasm,” a term used to describe a person with a sense of humor, has become a synonym for “sarcasm”. Think about it: What’s the point of saying things you don’t mean? It’s all about that. tone.
I am an open book. Just ask
While it can be a positive sign that you are willing to share information with a potential partner, this phrase is more often a lazy-sounding substitute for writing your bio. Remember, the purpose of a bio helps others decide if they would like to speak with you. If you want to both enjoy Norwegian Slow TV, don’t invite them along on a fishing expedition.
[Height]Because apparently, that is what matters
Can I just blame patriarchy for society’s gender- and height-related hangups? Yes. This is a way to take a swipe at your future matches, who might not be concerned about how tall you are.
A string of emoji
It might be cute to fill your bio full of emoji that represent the interests and activities you enjoy–a beer glass or dog, someone doing yoga, etc. – but it’s better to stick with sentences and words that reflect your personality. A football is not a person. This has been proven many times. Don’t expect your potential matches to interpret your emoji as hieroglyphics. Words are useful. Use them.
I don’t know how to reply
This skill is what most sites require.
Please be curious
The meaning is that YouThey are incredibly interesting. You are at least interesting enough not to judge others. But, other than when you’re dancing with your best friend at the top of Mount Everest, you are probably like most people. AppsA human being who works, pays bills and has some hope that enough swipes will lead to what you want.
Searching for a partner to commit crime
It’s better to have a 66 Thunderbird that we can drive off a cliff.
You are not looking for a pen friend
Online daters can be a problem because chats can go on for too long without either side making an effort to meet in person. It’s not a good idea to preemptively criticize potential matches. Be more deliberate about steering the conversation towards making plans or, better yet, just ask.
Enjoy a great time, not a long one
At least you are being honest about what you want. You don’t have to be Shakespeare if someone out there isn’t looking for the whole white fence thing. Remember, even if your goal is to secure a Friday night, there are tons of other profiles using the same language.
The Office has too many quotes
It is entirely reasonable to assume that potential partners will be drawn to common interests. But here’s the catch: Choose an interest that is more unique than liking the most recent television show. (Neilsen discovered that The Office was the most-watched show on Netflix in 2018..) Perhaps liking The Office was once about liking cringe humor and pranks. Or maybe it meant that you like heart-tugging, will-they-won’t-they romance tension. It simply means that you like a popular television show. It’s like hoping someone will like you because of your love for french fries. These interests aren’t controversial, much like sunshine and puppies.
Ask yourself: How much do you quote from The Office? What is too much? It borders on irritating?
Remember, quoting from The Office doesn’t make you a person.
You are looking for Jim to Pam or vice versa?
This line could be supereconomic and a good way to signal that you are looking for something serious, while also nodding at a piece pop culture that interests you. To refer to the previous entry, IT’S THE OPERATION. It’s not unusual. It might be more beneficial to choose characters from a movie, book, or show that are more unique (but not too obscure that no one will know what you are talking about). OR, you could write something new and forgo the clichés.
My dog won’t get along with you if it doesn’t love me.
Pet owners can easily get wrapped up in their pets. For one, I have given up the whole guest bathroom in my condo to Salsa my cat. Dating coaches will advise you to avoid using negative language in your profile. Think about it: Even though you haven’t met, you already set the conditions for how your relationship will end. You’ll still have your dog to cuddle with.
I’m here just for the dog pictures
I honestly don’t understand what this is trying convey other than a sense of humor. Or the ability to copy/paste on a mobile device.
I just moved here. Show me around!
It is a good idea to mention that you are new to the area. This can be used to start a conversation about the reasons for your move or to talk about past experiences. The “show-me-around” part leaves the other person with vague thoughts about “why?” “surely Thrillist has NumerousArticles about this.
I have my life together. You should, too.
They should. You are a good person for knowing what you want. But maybe you should be less demanding? YIKES.
General references to laughing and having fun
You can file it again under “noncontroversial interest.” Do you know what would be fascinating? The person who hates to laugh. You are a human. I have many questions.
Just say hi
No.
CNET’s Love Syncs column focuses on online dating. For consideration, email erin.carson@cnet.com if you have a question about app-based dating.
